


Someone's out there

by PePPermintzSuck



Category: South Park
Genre: Alternate Universe - Ghosts, Angst, Character Turned Into a Ghost, Fear, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Homophobia, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Internalized Homophobia, M/M, Multi, Past Relationship(s), Romance, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-10-09
Updated: 2020-11-16
Packaged: 2021-03-08 01:42:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 4
Words: 9,210
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26917564
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PePPermintzSuck/pseuds/PePPermintzSuck
Summary: Leo comes back after being sent to another Conversion camp to find out his least favorite person is following him..
Relationships: Clyde Donovan/Bebe Stevens, Craig Tucker/Tweek Tweak, Minor or Background Relationship(s), Stan Marsh/Leopold "Butters" Stotch
Comments: 2
Kudos: 24





	1. Did you hear me?

**Author's Note:**

> Trigger warning for the whole thing because Butters parents will be abusive (mostly his dad)  
> My huge inspiration for this is Los retros' someone to spend time with and Lava lamp by Cuco and Beetlejuice cuz it's my favorite movie/musical. Btw i did not steal ghosting for beginners main idea, me and my sister were reading and someone to spend time with started playing and I said that it sounds like a lonely ghost is singing this, so she said knowing it's my favorite ship to make it stutters. Just to be sure I asked The author of Ghosting for beginners if it was okay to write it and they said it was okay.

_Bags and Bags_ Leo thought sarcastically as he started unpacking his luggage, He had just come back from _another_ conversion camp, Dad sent him there this time when he caught him and his friend Kenny in his room with the door _closed._ It had obviously taken out of context, they were not doing anything unlike _last time._ While he keeps unpacking he's slowly growing bored by the shirt, he grows impatient with himself for being _so_ slow. Leo decides to take a break from pulling things out of his bags to message his friends, they'll be happy to have him back after a few months of absolute hell.

As soon as he sends his text into the ' _Blondes'_ group chat, he receives a billion back from Tweek and Bebe, and just a few from Kenny. Leo couldn't help but laugh at how dorky they are, he responds with "Guys I was only gone for a few months" Tweek instantly responds with _'Five! Five whole months.'_ Kenny adds _'Holy shit is_ _your dad_ a _dick-'_ Leo snorts and then he quickly has to delete that message from Ken. Bebe adds to what they say by asking when he'll be able to hang out, and if he'll go to school tomorrow. He replies with _'Perhaps'_ to keep shit as vague as possible. Leo starts laughing as he gets a flood of messages from them, but his laughter quickly gets put to an end when he hears Dad start walking to his room. Leo quickly shuts off his phone and starts to pick up some of his clothes from his duffel bag to give the illusion of unpacking. 

When Dad starts to open the door Leo stands up straighter then usual, he turns to Dad and greets him as Leo got taught to do when an adult enters a room. Mr. Stotch looks at Leo with a tired but angry look, "You're home early," He says looking at Leo in the eyes. Leo forces a smile and says "They let me go early." Dad has a serious look but he is obviously joking when he says "On what? Good behavior" Leo forces a laugh even though it wasn't very funny. "Anyways fag," Mr. Stotch starts "I came up here to see if you really were back and to tell you Mother made dinner, so hurry unpacking and join us." Leo doesn't notice that he does this, but his face drops the moment dad calls him that slur. Dad looks at him very angrily "Did you even listen?" Leo doesn't hear him, he's still stuck on how Dad doesn't seem to ever believe him when he says he's straight no matter how many camps he's been to, it's all because of that one time when he was nine, and well maybe that one time when he was fourteen and experimenting with Kenny. They had only shared a kiss before Dad walked in and grounded him for having Kenny even over, time got added for having been in his room without asking more time for the door being closed. He got sent to a camp for 'making out' with him. Leo kept insisting he's never made out with a boy, and that they weren't doing anything drastic.

"Dad it was an accident," Leo says harshly without realising that it wasn't in either the memory not his head. Dad backhanded him so hard he not only falls but he could he hear a ringing. Leo felt like he was tearing up and he could feel where he got slapped start to sting. He wanted to put his hand to it but he knew Dad considered it disrespectful to cover your face when being talked to. "Young man, It's your first day back home and already you're back talking to your dad," Dad leans down and grips Leo's shoulder in a very painful way. "Now answer me, Did you hear me?" Leo looks at Dad in the eyes and puts a face cheery little expression to say "Yes sir" Dad's look softens up a little, but it's still filled with anger. He releases Leo's shoulder from his grip "Good, now hurry" He says patting Leo's head like a dog and standing up. Even after Dad left, Leo's brain wasn't registering what exactly happened. It wasn't until he heard his phone make a little _ping_ noise did he stand up. He walks carefully over to his phone in case his parents could hear him from down stairs. 

When he picks up his phone it's just a message from Kenny. It reads _'Dude, wth kinda vague message is "perhaps" Are you able to hang out with us anytime soon? We missed you.'_ Leo slightly smiles at the fact his friends missed him. His smile fades away when he hears a faint _"What in the hell was that?!"_ He whips his head around so fast he almost have himself whiplash. He doesn't seem anyone else in the room with him, he decides to play it off as having an over active imagination. Leo quickly puts his favorite shirt, a black short sleeve button up with little red bats printed all over. He remembers when he saw it, Dad said no because it made him look like a _fairy,_ but then Tweek gave it to him as a _secret_ birthday gift. Leo hides it in a very small box under his bed. Along with his little pride flag, Leo says he's straight because he isn't ready to come out yet, and he doesn't want to feel like he is only bisexual because he's friend group is not nearly considered fully straight, He's always thought that people think that he only does certain things because Bebe, Kenny, and Tweek do them. He doesn't want to add sexuality to the list, especially not when Bebe just came out as Bi. That's why he's partly glad he doesn't have freckles like the rest of them. 

When Leo walks into the dinning room area his plate is already set out. By the steam floating above everyone's plates he determines he wasn't causing them to wait _too_ long. Before Leo sits down he apologizes for causing them to wait. They forgive him as he sits down so they can say grace. During dinner Leo asks if he's going to school tomorrow, Mom looks at him with her empty eyes, "Of course sweetie," She turns to Dad really quickly, then back to Leo, "Why wouldn't you?" Leo just smiles and says "I was just wondering ma'am," Leo looks down at dinner, he doesn't know what it was supposed to be and for the past few years things with his Mother have been slipping "Dinner is delicious Mom, thank you" He says hoping to make her feel better. Successfully she gets a excited look and smiles very brightly "Thank you Butters" she reaches over to Leo and pinches his check "You're very sweet" That's when Dad takes it upon himself to make a sly comment that Leo can't ignore. Mom reaches to Leo again to squeeze his hand when he makes a face. "Linda, please it's disrespect to reach across the table"

After a awkwardly polite and unnatural dinner, Leo walks up to his room to grab night clothes and a towel for his shower. While he's up in his room he tells Bebe he'll be able to go to school tomorrow. When he gets out he can hear something say _"Butters! Can you hear me?"_ At first he thinks it's his parents until he realizes the voice was too high to be dad and too deep to be his mom's. Leo rubs his eyes and then his head. _How hard did_ _he hit me?_ Leo thinks. Leo starts to brush out his hair, before he notices something staring at him. Leo almost screams when he realizes who it is. 


	2. Losing respect for Kyle

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger warning, mentions of suicide.  
> This chapter isn't supposed to poke fun at anyone with suicidal thoughts. If you are having those thoughts please call someone. 
> 
> Anyways, I read a lot of fan fiction and see a lot of fanart with Craig being a photographer. So yea, it's gonna be mentioned, he's also mostly one because in a fanfic I was forced to write the guy writing Craigs part was one and he thought it would be fun. Also ik Kyle isn't that big of a bitch but you're gonna have to deal with him being one.

Leo starts to get slightly annoyed, the other boy just stares at him not knowing how to explain his case. _"I-"_ he puffs out air forcibly in frustration causing stuff in the bathroom to scatter. " _I'm not spying on you, if that makes you any less uncomfortable, What I'm doing is hard to explain_." Leo looks at him slightly more annoyed. Leo makes a face at him and whispers, so he doesn't startle his mom and make his dad think he's brought back a boy, "You aren't making sense!" The black-haired boy stands up and walks closer to Leo. " _Well I don't mean to! I mean to make sense, but..._ " He trails off. "But what," Leo whisper asks in frustration. _"Butters"_ Leo sighs and starts walking back to his room. Leo looks at the taller boy and says "Truth. Say the truth now!" He looks down at Leo in embarrassment, " _The truth?"_ Leo stares at him right in the eyes with both frustration and fear, he slowing nods. " _Fine. I'm dead_

"What," Leo whisper in shock "No way you're dead, you look very much alive to me, Stan!" Leo, without looking, flops down on his bed. Leo can hear his parents door shut and he waits a few minutes to make sure that they won't hear him before he says anything more. "This can not be true, there's no way! How are you in my room than?" Stan looks over at him, " _That's the part I can't explain. See, I don't exactly know why I'm here._ " Stan looks genuinely confused. Leo doesn't believe him but he has to admit he's slightly skeptical but still interested, at first Leo thinks it's a big joke so he decides to play along. "How long?" Stan looks flustered and if his face had any real color to it, he would be visible red. _"What?"_ Leo sighs again at how slow he is, "How long have you been dead dipshit. God, you've hung out with Kenny too much." Stan moves to where he's floating above Leo, and looking at him in the eyes. It shocks Leo that Stan can float and only now decides it's not a joke." _What month is it?_ " Leo thinks for a minute before saying "October." Stan looks scared for a moment before saying _"a few months."_

Before Leo can ask how long a few months is, he hears a _Ping._ He goes to grab his phone before hearing about ten more pings, then his phone starts to buzz. Leo answers his phone without checking who was calling, as soon as he does he's greeted with a moaning and squeals of delight and pleasure. "Uh, hey" Leo says in response "Helllllllllo Leo!" Stan flashes from above Leo to next to him. "Tweek," Leo smiles "Yep, the one and only," He says before immediately adding after "Probably, and hopefully." Leo looks up at his ceiling. "Babe..." Leo hears before a bunch of giggling."Craig?" "Yep, and Bebe, Clyde and Kenny." He says. "I figured Kenny and Clyde were the ones fake moaning," Leo laughs, "So whatdya call for?" Leo could hear Kenny giggling in the background, but he doesn't know what for. "Dude, we were just calling to know if you could sneak last your parents to join us for a little while." Leo takes this opportunity to make a joke that if he said in front of his parents he'd get slapped to next Tuesday, "'Join us' as in some crazy sixsome?" Leo hears Kenny burst into a giggle fit so he takes it as an approval. All Stan says is "Dude," and gives him a very familiar look of disgust. "Yea, if you want it to be, but let it be noted that my parents are downstairs so we can't get louder then an inside voice" Tweek jokes. Leo giggles a bit from the stupid joke, before accepting the invite over. 

"This conversation isn't done!" Leo says staring at Stan. " _Aw, can't it be!_ " Stan whines. "Because i want answers, If you're dead why can't you be following Kyle, he's _your_ best friend. Oh wait sorry for forgetting, _Super_ best friend." Stan looks crushed at the mention of Kyle. It takes Leo a minute before he notices. "Stan- Wait, Lord, Jesus Christ, I'm sorry." Stan looks down at where his feet would be, " _It's fine, you didn't know_." Leo gets up from his bed and starts to get dressed and out of his night clothes. "Do you want to talk about it? Or is it a sore subject?" Stan slightly blushing, although you can't see it, turns to look away from a changing Leo. Stan clears his throat in a nervous panic, " _It's not that big of a deal. We just had a fight over something silly._ " Removing his pyjama bottoms he looks over his shoulder at Stan, making sure he wasn't looking "Over something silly? Like what?" While Leo pulls on his favorite pink overall skirt, and checks to make sure he had it adjusted right for his boxer weren't showing. " _Honest answer or my cover up I used in my suicide note?_ " Leo quickly turns around, "Suicide?!" Now Leo may not think Stan is the best person, and he may have wished for Stan and his little gang—excluding Kenny— to die once or twice, but he never meant it. Nor did he think that any of them would actually die so soon, Stan is only sixteen. " _Yea, Kyle and my mom were the ones who found me._ " Stan looked down at the ground again, he couldn't bear to look at Leo in the eyes anymore. "Stan," Leo said in that voice you use when you're on the verge of breaking. Stan didn't look up, "Stan. Look at me" Leo walked in front of Stan. " _It's none of your business, okay. I finally was able to admit to liking you, and Kyle decided to be a jerk about it, I wanted to be better then my dad and not have such an alcohol problem but Kyle being my best friend and not exactly accepting me drove me over the edge. In honestly I'm glad I'm dead._ " Leo felt a mix of emotions first he was sad for Stan and how his best friend, Kyle; the boy he grew up with and basically spent every day with him, couldn't accept him. Leo also felt angry at Kyle for being a jerk, he may not like Stan or Kyle but now Leo has a bit more of a understanding towards Stan and now he's lost all respect for Kyle. Not only did Leo feel angry and sad, but he also had an unexplainable feeling, it felt like butterflies and feathers were tickling around in his stomach. _Stan liked me?_ Leo had a million things running through his head and not one of them made sense, but all he could mutter was "Oh," Stan put both hands on his face and growled in frustration. " _I'm sorry_ " 

Stan hated bumming the mood, especially if the mood wasn't good to begin with. Still he went and bummed it by blowing up unprovoked, Leo didn't know what to say after Stan had dropped the bombshells on both his death and his crush. Of course there was still a lot about what happened the day he died that he didn't tell Leo, but he couldn't bear to think about it or even mention it, so instead on the whole trip to Tweeks' Leo's voice saying 'Oh' rung in his ghostly ears. When they got to Tweeks house, Leo ran to under Tweeks window and started climbing. He tapped on the window and Tweek let him in. Once inside Leo came up to Kenny and snuggled himself against him, that action made Stan feel a little jealous. Stan tries to blow it off as it's normal to feel jealous of someone he's had a crush on for seven years getting comfortable with someone who'd known about his crush. All of his little friend group had known about his crush, Kyle knew, Cartman knew, Kenny knew, even _Wendy_ knew. She never said anything though because she knew Leo hated them for what torture they put him through all throughout elementary school and a partial part of sixth. She knew from when she'd sit with Bebe at Leo's little friend groups lunchtable, she heard the way they all made jokes about Kyle or Cartman, of course it wasn't nice and she didn't hesitate to tell them that. When Bebe told her it was fine to make jokes like these because they also hated Leo's friend group and picked fun at them for being a weird group of people, Wendy would say "An eye for an eye makes the whole world blind" and Craig would flip her off and tell her no one asked for her bullshit. 

Stan tried to smile at the thought of Kenny and Leo being cute together, but he couldn't. Sure he wants his friend to be happy and it's not like he and Leo could date anyways, he's dead. He just doesn't like the thought of them together. Stan feels selfish for thinking that he wants to be the only one that Leo could be hugging, but he can't think that way because he was too scared to talk to Leo when he was alive and now he is a and watching Leo and Kenny openly flirt with each other. Stan closes his eyes and turns towards the rest of the group of couples when Kenny kisses Leo on the head. It was almost too painful for him to stay here, he was so tempted to disappear before it dawns on him that Kenny and Leo stopped dating a few years ago. There might still be small feelings but they agreed not to ruin their friendship by continuing dating, Stan remembers because he was there when Kenny dropped by unannounced to say he and Leo officially broke up, and on good terms too. Stan looked back at them and they were acting more like friends then lovers. For some reason that Stan couldn't really explain it put his mind to rest about them.

During the entire hang out, they made jokes, looked at Craigs newest photos of Tweek which just so happened to turn out astronomical. The way he captured Tweeks beauty and emotions in just one picture was just mind twisting for Stan. At two thirty they had to leave, except Craig who was of course spending the night again. Stan couldn't help but feel jealous of how close and comfortable they were, the way they were able to slip each others arms around one another, the way they could kiss each other and not get all red in the face, or how Tweek could comfortably sit on Craigs lap or take his hand without getting super embarrassed. It made Stan feel a little sad that he and Wendy weren't like that, him and Wendy never really had time to get that comfortable unlike Tweek and Craig. They broke up every week, Tweek and Craig had been together since the fourth grade and only had two official break ups only to realize they were being petty or stupid and get back together the next day. Stan wonders if maybe if he didn't pick on Leo like he did and was actually able to admit his feelings would they have been that comforta- _No you can't think like this_ Stan told himself. _You fucked up and now you're paying the price_ , and that's how things ended that night. 


	3. PMS-ing

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TRIGGER WARNING!!!! Mentions of child abuse!  
> Btw I'm sorry if they seem off, I usually write stories while hiding in the bathtub (like abbey glover) but everyone was conveniently in the bathroom when i was in the mood for writing.  
> Also I'm sorry for not getting this chapter out sooner, Like I said everyone was conveniently in my writing spot also my girlfriend wanted to chat all days even when we were supposed to do school work, so I did that instead of writing.

Leo woke up with a massive headache. As usual he woke up at six, on the dot. He used to have to wake up an alarm clock, but his body has been so used to it that he often wakes up right before the beep. He really only has the alarm now so dad knows he's up without him coming in here. That's the last thing Leo wants, dad's bullshit at six in the morning. Leo quickly sits up and goes to grab his day clothes and a towel, as he does this Stan finally opens his ghostly mouth to say something.

 _"I love you and all, but you sleep like a fucking demon"_ Leo looks at him with a weird look, Leo starts to whisper, "What do you mean?" He looks at his closest to find the right shirt to go with the black high waisted jeans he picked out. _"I mean,_ _you sleep with your arms above your head–"_

"To breathe better" Leo interrupts. 

_"–You hold onto your head board with a death grip, like you're going to float away,"_ Stan continues pretending not to have heard him, _"You sleep with your eye slightly opened, and even still it's rolled back. Also you sleep with your legs...in a... triangle..."_ Stan doesn't look too sure about that last part. _"What's it called?"_

Leo looks at him real quick, and sees that Stan was attempting to give the illusion of laying on his back on Leo's headboard. "I dunno, man" Leo gathers his things and walks into the hallway to get showered for the day. " _Anyways, you looked like a demon in the middle of an exorcist"_ Only half listening, Leo says "Nice to hear." Stan stayed back in Leo's room, because that's what leo told him to do. Even when he said he wouldn't look, Leo still said he had to stay back, it was either that or wait outside the bathroom, but even that was still too risky for Leo to think about. 

Something they learned last night was although Stan is currently stuck following Leo, he can at least walk around ten feet away from Leo. Like a little kid in the store with his mom. When Stan gets further then that ten feet it yanks him back to Leo like a dog on one of those retractable leashes. Leo found it funny, but Stan not so much. They only found out because Stan was acting a little off and it was frustrating Leo, they had a small argument only for Stan you yell he was not going back with him, and that he doesn't care how much he's pissed at Kyle right now; he's going to start following him. Leo had to laugh and say fine, half way through the walk Leo had felt a cold crash in his side, turns out that Stan was dragged back towards Leo. 

_"Finally,"_ Stan says sarcastically as Leo enters the bedroom. Silently Leo rolls his eye at Stan, remaining quiet he throws his towel and night clothes in the hamper. Leo walks over to his night stand and carefully grabs something before pulling it close to his face. Stan moves really close to Leo's face, _"Why are you touching your face like that?"_ Leo almost breaks concentration, "I'm putting in my other eye, dipshit" 

_"What?"_ Leo turned gently over at Stan, sort of in a condescending way, "What do you mean 'What'? Are you dumb?" _"No, but what do you mean your 'Putting in your other eye'"_ Leo finished popping his prosthetic in, and looked more carefully at Stan and could see he wasn't playing a game. "You mean to tell me, you were there when half my vision was taken, and you don't know why I have a prosthetic eye?"

 _"eh,"_ is all Stan said. 

***

At school, Leo expected things to be different. It wasn't different, it was the same as always. Leo already had a class schedule because he was already enrolled, only reason he didn't end up going was because his dad sent him away. 

He was walking down the halls on his way to the cafeteria, because he was early, when he saw Craig. This was unlike him because Tweek and Craig are usually together. Leo felt something was off, and was ready to consult a very upset Tweek if it came down to it. "Hey," Leo says walking up to Craig. 

Craig looks up at Leo, he doesn't smile but instead moves his eyebrows up a little before moving them back down. "Oh hey Leo," He says in his usual drawl. "What are you doing out here? Where's Tweek," Leo asks cutting to the chase. Craig rolls his eyes, "I had to to take a leak, Tweek is in the cafeteria already because why would he come with me to piss?" 

"Cool," Leo says mostly out of embarrassment, but also out of nervousness. Craig was used to his nervousness when not knowing what to say so he just took the answer. After a brief awkward silence they both silently decided to walk to the others.

When they walked into the Cafeteria Kenny, Tweek, Jimmy and Clyde were in the middle of a conversation with the occasional cut in or remark from Bebe and Token. 

"–Of you to think I think of Craig when I fantasize, The only man that's in my mind is Caption Jack sparrow." Tweek says with his back facing the door, not realizing Leo and Craig. 

"Honestly same," Kenny sighed

"S-s-so you-you're into pira-p-pirates?" Jimmy jokes when he sees Craig. "W-what about Cr-Craig?" 

"It's not that he's a 'pirate'" Tweek says, still not noticing Craig, who's now just standing behind him waiting to see how this plays out. 

Kenny nods, agreeing. "It's more of," Tweek continues looking at Kenny as if their brains were connecting. Craig, still listening, crosses his arms over his chest.

"Johnny depp is hot" Kenny and Tweek say at the same time. Jimmy smiles, looking up at Craig who know leans down putting his elbows on Tweek's head and resting his chin on his hands. 

"Oh," Craig says stretching the vowel "That's it, huh?" 

Leo struggles to hold in his laughs. Tweek looks up at Craig, clearly flustered. "I- uh" Craig laughs, sitting down next to him and resting his head on Tweeks'. Somehow telling Tweek not to worry about it and that he was just joking, without even saying a word.

Leo sits down next to Jimmy. "Hey man, been a while" Token says greeting him. "Just five months" Leo jokes knowing no one will find it funny. 

"Five months is a long time," Bebe says resting his head on Clyde's shoulder. Leo shrugs, "I guess." Tweek looks up from his little conversation with Craig. "Nice shirt, Leo." 

Leo looks down remembering he's wearing the red bat shirt Tweek bought him. "Oh thank you. You'll never guess how I got it, it's kinda of a funny story how I got this. This kid who I've known for a while said i needed to upgrade my bisexuality style because I look like my parents are forcing me to go to some family church activity." Leo says slightly annoyed. Tweek twitched at Leo's annoyance.

"U-u-uh oh," Jimmy smiling, "S-someones PMS-in-ing" Bebe giggles, "Im not pms-ing or whatever. I've got a huge fucking headache and I can't currently control how my thoughts slip out" 

"Sounds like PMS-ing to me, man" Kenny and Stan somehow joke at the same time. Leo glares at Stan, who luckily is standing near Kenny. "Kenny I will fucking kill you, you filthy son of a bitch" Leo glares before slamming his head on the table. 

Bebe hums, "Maybe he's pregnant instead." Leo quickly raises his head off table in a panic, "Pregnant! I'm only Seventeen! I don't even have a baby carrying body!!" For some reason this sets everyone off in a laughing fit. "Okay in all seriousness, What's wrong Leo?" Clyde asks looking at Leo with genuine concern. 

Leo knows his headache is caused by what happened last night with Dad, but he can't bring it up. He knows he can't. It's not a not willing to get help thing, it's more of a fear thing. A fear of knowing he just told on his dad, not knowing what people like child protective services will do. He know they'd take him away, they've had the child abuse talk before. Would they send his parents to jail, for how long? Would he even see Mom and Dad again? Would they even could Mom as a child abuser, Leo thinks about how Mom has only put her hands on him a few times. Nothing major like what dad does, It usually only happens after another episode. 

Leo thinks about one of the few times Mom had an episode. Dad had left for another "work related" trip. Mom was cleaning a lot more then usual, deep cleaning even when everything was clean. She had washed the dishes four times by the time Leo went down stairs again, Leo remembers asking her what was wrong before she snapped. She had been screaming and crying hysterically, pulling Leo's hair multiple times before wrapping her hands tightly around his neck. She was screaming the same things over and over, She kept asking Leo "How could he do this?" and " That filthy bastard is breaking our family!" 

Leo didn't completely understand what was going on. He didn't understand Dad was cheating. He didn't understand how much Mom was breaking down. Leo knows he didn't go to school for a few days, he had to wait until the bruises on the shape of mothers hands from being in complete distraught, were nothing but faint. Even though he knew no one would notice he still wore different turtle neck shirts that whole week until he was certain they were gone. 

He was snapped out of his thoughts when Kenny started snapping his hand in front of him. "Earth to Leo, earth to Leo! You good buddy?" Leo realizes he spaced out, "Yea I'm good" He smiles at Kenny. Kenny doesn't buy it, he looks at Leo gently. "You sure?" Leo tried his best to give a reassuring smile before lying "Yes I'm sure" 

"Not to break this gay moment, but you never answered us. " Clyde says putting his arm around Leo in a sorta side hug, Leo tries to hide his fear from being touched. "I-" _Riiiiinng._ As if it was something straight out of a _Disney channel original_ , the early bell cut him off. Leo sighed before grabbing his stuff, luckily he didn't have any early morning classes with them. He hurried off before any of his friends could ask questions. 

" _What was that?"_ Leo quickly looks up at Stan before rolling his eyes. " _Why didn't you tell them, Butters? They're your friends"_ Leo doesn't know why he answered, it just slipped out. "Tell them what? That I'm crazy because I think the ghost of Stan marsh is talking to me" Leo whispered. " _Hey, I am actually dead. Ask anyone they'll tell you. Also, you know that's not what i mean."_ Leo, knowing he was extremely early to art class, heads to an empty hall. He's glad this hall is always empty. 

"Look, I don't know what you're talking about. What you think happened and what actually happened are far from each," Leo lied harshly. He knows Stan saw his dad slap him, but he was scared to admit it. "So forget about it, and get off my dick." Stan wanted Leo to tell him the truth, so badly, he knew what he saw. He didnt want to pry though. He knows he should, but what's he going to do? He's just a ghost. 

***

In class Leo is sitting at his desk playing on his phone, while Stan hovers above him. Not watching him of course, but laying above him and pretending to watch him play games so Leo doesn't get pissed again. Stan won't admit this, but he likes being in Leo's presence. There's just something about Leo that's always drew him towards him, that Stan couldn't explain. It hadn't always been that way. Yes he's always admired Leo for his ability to keep his cards close to his vest, or how he didn't lash out at the smallest things people did or didn't do. 

He _admired_ Leo since they were kids but his _crush_ didn't develop until the sixth grade. The year that was the straw that broke the camel's back, he had yelled at them. Calling them call in their bullshit, making Stan realizing that Leo was stronger then he looks. It was proven even more when Cartman made a smart remark and Leo socked him square in the face. Cartman had a bruised face and bloody lip for a while. It was weird for Stan when he realized he'd fallen deeply in love with Leo. He always thought boys were attractive, but he thought all boys thought that. He noticed all the signs for a crush but it wasn't completely confirmed until he did something he hasn't done since before dating Wendy. 

_**He threw up on Leo.** _

Not because he thought Leo was repulsive or because Stan was sick. No. It was was because he was _so nervous, so_ filled with _butterflies_ , instead of talking it came up. He was embarrassed that he did that, he was scared Leo would hate him more or that his friends would find out (they had found out about his crush, but not because of the nervous throw up, but because of his constant staring and asking Kenny how Leo was doing). Luckily Leo had mellowed out on his hate by then and was more worried that Stan might be sick then embarrassed about being covered in his throw up. 

Stan got dragged out of his thoughts when Kenny walked into he classroom and walked towards them "Hey man," He sighed as he sat down in the empty chair next to Leo. He looks up from his phone and at Kenny, not wasting time on small talk Leo cut to the chase, "Is Stan dead?" 

"St-stan?" Kenny asks with a slight voice break, he nervously looks up in Stan's direction. Even though he can't see Stan, Stan still quickly dropped down next to Leo's legs. "Yes, Stan marsh. Shellys' brother, " Leo says calmly and looking at down at Stan who's hiding under the desk. "Well, yea. He died back in August, he unfortunately killed himself. " Kenny looked like he wanted to cry. "Alright cool, That's all I needed to know. It was for confirmation by the way" Kenny looks at Leo with speculation, "What kind of confirmation?" Leo slightly panics for a second, his mind is quick with coming up with lies. He had years of practice with his parents being the way that they are. Before he could completely evaluate the lie is mouth starts moving 

"I haven't seen him since I left, figured he was sick. Also thought he was dead because i had an eerie feeling, just thought I'd ask." Leo looks at Kenny softly, "Sorry" 

"It's fine, you didn't kn-" Kenny starts before getting cut off by the teacher walking in. She starts by greeting everyone and taking attendance. Then she assigns a painting topic and we get started. Leo and Kenny chat a bit before class ends, making Leo get ready to go to medical class. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, Guess what! I make sketches for this and my vision for it on my story on my Instagram (@bark__is_dead). You don't have to follow, but it'd be nice. I just draw mostly south park fanart.


	4. Antidote

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TRIGGER WARNING! Linda is gonna have an episode and hurt Leo again in this.   
> Btw, ik i said Leo is genderfluid, but just to avoid confusion I'll just be using the pronouns he uses in the show for this.  
> Also yes, if you couldn't tell by the last few chapters I'm a multi shipper. I like bunny and jitters but Stutters is my favorite Butters ship.  
> There's a part that i wasn't originally gonna add, it was just gonna be Stan and Leo talking about gay awakenings but there's something leo says that is something i struggle with as a gender fluid pan who hates being a gender fluid pan. But you won't know what I'm talking about until you read it, so sorry. Anyways please enjoy.

Leo was walking down the hall to the cafeteria, his lunch bell rang a few minutes ago, he needed to hurry if he wanted to eat today. Stan was trailing behind him, slightly whispering things that made no sense to Leo. 

Once in the cafeteria, he placed his phone and school bags at their usual lunch table before rushing to the lunch line. He met Kenny in there, "Why are you in here this late?" Kenny turned around to face Leo, "I was waiting on you, but you were a little later then usual so I went ahead to grab my lunch," Kenny said, Leo smiled. 

Stan watched as Kenny and Leo's conversation unrolled. It was unusual to him that they were so comfortable with each other after a break up like that, it wasn't big or nasty. They had a small break up and it wasn't like Kenny flirted with another, or Leo kissed another boy. Which Leo wouldn't do while dating someone, but folks don't put it past him because of how comfortable he is with boys, dating or not. It was weird to Stan that they just broke up. 

After getting their lunches, Kenny and Leo (still chatting) joined the rest of the group. As he sits down, Leo immediately slips into Jimmy's arms. "Hey guys, what are doing?" Tweek asks when Kenny goes to help Leo pull something out of his bag. "Your mom" Kenny jokes with a smile. "Kenny! Making distasteful jokes about my mom, and she said you were her favorite!" Kenny grins, "Who said I was joking, I'm her favorite for a reason." Tweek gets a disgusted look mixed with fear on his face, "Please say your joking!" He starts panicking. Stan, watching the conversation unfold, looks over at Tweek as he drops his thermos. Kenny, being the dick that he is, says "Depends" Causing Tweek to freak out even more, Craig stars rubbing circles on Tweeks back while whispering something only they can hear. Token starts telling Kenny, in his mom voice, that the joke was rude and uncalled for. Tweek starts spazzing again, which really only happens now when he gets too emotional. It makes Leo feel bad because Tweek worked hard( even going as far as drinking slightly less coffee a day until he was just a few cups above the average amount) to get rid of that just as Leo worked hard to get rid of his dreadful accent that reminded him of terrible memories.

"For someone so panicky, you sure do where a lot of green" Leo hears himself say, cutting everyone off without realizing. He looks up as he realizes his whole table has gone quiet. Jimmy tightens his grip around Leo as if he was going to float away. Leo looked down at Jimmy's arms, he was scared to look up and Stan could sense it. They were all used to his random outbursts, but it didn't stop them from unknowingly giving him looks. "Y-you know, l-l-like they t-teach us in a-art," Jimmy says, speaking up for Leo. "Right?" Jimmy asks looking down at Leo who's now clinging to Jimmy like a child clinging to their mom around strangers. "Y-yea. Like what they teach us in art class. Different color represent different thing," Not meaning to but he couldn't stop himself, he started pointing at each of them, "Red for Passion, Orange for happiness, Yellow for warmth, purple for royalty or luxury but I guess they're sort of the samething. And blue, " He has to stop himself from pointing to Stan, instead he pointed to himself as well as Craig who he was already pointing to, "for Boldness, security, cooling, seriousness, and sadness." 

He slowly looks up at them, "But it doesn't matter, it was stupid. Ignore me" He soon buries his face into Jimmy's chest, everyone does what he's asked because they didn't want to push him into an uncomfortable situation. "Hey Tucker, Karen says that her and Tricia are getting married? Trish tell you anything about it" Kenny says as a conversation changer. 

"I don't tend to talk to Trish, but yea I've heard her mention it, " Craig replies. "Wait I thought Tricia was marrying Ike ," Tweek says, Stan watches as Craig changes his expression from his usual stotic to a more soft and fond look when moving his eyes from Kenny to Tweek. "Isn't Ike dating Firkle?" Token cuts in, "I think so," Tweek says. Clyde looks over to Token, "Why do you know that Ike and Firkle are dating? You don't have a younger sibling, much less one in middle school." 

"I talk with Trish," Token says, "Wait, isn't Firkle also married to Tricia?" Craig looks up at Token and smiles a small slight smile, "Trish Trish Trish, wants to actually marry Karen. Is fake married to Ike, Karen, and Firkle," His tisks. "How could she do this to them. do they even know?" Kenny shrugs, "Maybe" 

It was the middle of lunch, everyone was still talking except Leo. He feels as if he can't talk, he's scared and he doesn't know why. Jimmy shakes him slightly, not breaking the hug they've been in since Leo sat down. "H-Hey, Leo, ar-a-are you oka-okay? Y-you've be-been qu-quiet and haven't e-e-eaten your l-lunch. " Leo sits there, he hasn't been hungry. He lost his appetite years ago, everything tastes like sawdust. "I'm not hungry." 

"F-funny, y-y-you ha-haven't been h-hungry since eighth g-grade," Jimmy says sarcastically. "W-what's w-wrong?" Leo looks up at Jimmy, "Not in front of them, I'll tell you later" He smiles the best he could, but Jimmy could see through it. Yes Kenny was Leo's best friend and he knew him from a long time, but Jimmy knew him better then Kenny. Even when Kenny and Leo were dating he told Jimmy stuff, unintentionally, more then Kenny. He just knew Kenny would want to kick someone's ass, not that Jimmy wouldn't, it's just easier to make Jimmy understand then it is for Kenny to just cool down long enough to even listen. Jimmy smiles back at him, "A-alrighty th-th-then." Just for Jimmy's sake and his own health, he eats a bit of lunch. 

Jimmy knows more the rest of them, but none of them know the half of it. None of them are completely alright, they're all broken inside, Leo knows this because he's become good at reading their body language, whether it's slight eye movement or pinching their simple webbings. They all had skeletons in the closet, but Leo's where hidden deeper then the rest. Jimmy leans his head down and kisses Leo's head, Leo thinks it's funny how Jimmy says he thinks boys are attractive but doesn't know if he'd date one, but has also said if he could he'd date Leo. It makes Leo laugh and blush every time. 

"Oh, Bunny, Karen is coming over next month. You wanna help babysit again?" Kenny asks. 

"Oh, uh. I don't want to risk getting grounded again, I'll drop by a few days though," Leo says nervously. ever since Kenny moved out three years ago, his parents have been dumping Karen off at his place at what's supposed to be a month but ends out to be four sometimes. When Kenny babysits her, Leo tends to help out, he'd been doing this for all three years. 

"Your dad wouldn't ground you two times in a row like that." Leo scoffs at his friends remark, "Maybe, but I wouldn't put it past you. Although you are Tweek's mom's favorite but my dad hates you because of...well you know." 

***

After school Leo starts walking home. He'd call his parents if they weren't so...themselves. 

When he walked into the house, Mom was in the kitchen. She seemed to be either cooking or cleaning, either way she had he back turned to Leo and was home early. "Mom I'm home!" He called from the door. She turned to face him, "Welcome home Butters! Have a nice day at school?" She said in her fake enthusiastic and tired mom voice. "It was nice, thank you for asking. How was your day?" Leo asks already knowing she spent it being fake and putting on a show for the people around her. 

She smiles. "It was wonderful. We finished what we working on today early, We were supposed to start on our next project, but Mr. Bossman said to go home early." Leo knew better then that, she lied to him again. What she meant was _"I was stressing and breaking down again at work and was told to go home."_ She turns back to what she was doing, and puts something in the oven. "Well, your Dad should be home soon, so out your stuff in our room for weekly bag check, and leave your phone in there too. After come help me with dinner."

When Leo was on his way to his parents room, that was really just Dad and his occasional lovers room. Mom stopped sleeping in here for the same reason Leo worked so hard on getting rid of his accent, too many bad memories. She hates walking in this room, it causes her to breakdown into crying which ends in another episode. Stephen didn't do anything horrible or too sinful to Mom. It was more of a remembering the times they spent 'in love's or what Mom thought was them being in love. She loved him with all her heart, but Stephen openly cheated on her now. He used to just go back to there place, or stay at a gay bar. Now he doesn't mind bringing them back. It breaks Mom down. She used to think he loved her. 

Leo walked out of their room, after placing his stuff down, he went to go help Mom. Mom told him she needed him to wash some plates, set the table and then grab drinks. While making drinks Mom noticed something, she reached over and tucked the tag into back into Leo's shirt. Leo jumped at the touch of his mom, causing her to jump and drop the mug she was handing to him to clean. He started to freak out, He didn't mean to make her drop the mug. The touch just scared him, he wasn't used to anyone touching him without warning unless that person was his dad. Of course dad was the reason he was so flinchy at towards touching in general. Even when dating, he didn't let them touch him, they always waited until he was comfortable enough to ask for a hug or to kiss them. Mom seemed to be freaking out, but yet in some sort of trance. Leo looked down and saw the way the porcelain mug broke into pieces and scattered. 

Without thinking he says "Throw another one." Mom wordlessly nodded. She grabbed another and threw it between them, it shattered at the touch of the ground. They looked up at each other in a panic before bursting with laughter. They just started grabbing mugs and glass cups. They started aiming them at each others bloody feet. They started dancing while throwing the glassware. Before Mom's phone started ringing, snapping them out of their destructive trance.

She looked down at the beautiful wine glass that was used at her and Stephen's wedding, she cradled it and checked if they threw any of them which they didn't. She answered the call before it went disappeared. "Hello honey!" She says using her fake 'My-marriage-is -going-well' voice. "Oh! y-youre gonna be h-home late...Oh well that's fine!" She starts walking around the kitchen not even flinching at the glass cutting her feet. "Oh no honey, it's fine. Honest! Do what you need to. Don't mind me and Leopold. We'll just be home eating dinner." Leo could see she wanted to hang up, he couldn't hear what Stephen was saying but he knew he was using excuses again. "You gotta go? Oh okay, it's fine, don't apologize. Bye honey, love you. Oh..." She looked down at her phone, he hung up before she said 'Love you.' it was a very cliché move, but Stephen didn't care. 

"I fucking hate him! I hate him so damn much,"Mom started screaming, "I—"she threw the wedding glass"—hate him! I hate him!" She started crying. Leo went over towards her, to comfort her, but she stood up and started throwing broken glass at him. He closed his eyes and protected his face. "Momma!" he started to cry. She stopped throwing the glass at him. "Oh Butters! Baby, I'm sorry." She looked around the room, she looked at all the glass shards, and the cuts all over her hands and feet, the ones covering Leo. She walked over and wrapped her arms around him and started crying harder now. "I'm sorry, I'm Sorry!" she repeated this while rocking them slightly before dropping down and sitting on the floor and started begging for forgiveness from both God and Leo. She kept praying while crying and saying "don't hate me, I don't know what rushed over me" Leo dropped down next to her and comforting her while she cried what seemed endlessly. 

After crying, they stood up to clean the mess. "We have to buy new mugs before your father gets home," Mom says. Leo dumps the last bit of glass into the bin. "Okay, we'll get them after dinner," Leo says in a soothing voice. Leo walks over to the oven and pulls out the meal that was conveniently in the oven long enough to cook through while they went through all that mess. 

***

That night after Leo went to his bedroom to "go to sleep" 

" _Leo, love, your parents are trash,"_ Stan says. Ever since they got used to being near each other, they've been talking at night. Sometimes all night making Stan feel bad for keeping Leo awake all night. From down on the floor, Leo looks up at Stan, "You're one to talk" 

" _No seriously. My dad was garbage yes, but I literally just get watched your mom throw glass at you. On your first day back your dad-"_ Stan started before Leo cut him off. "I get it, but can we talk about something else." Leo says not wanting to be reminded. "Yes, absolutely. What do you want to talk about?" Leo runs his fingers through his hair. "Not really. Anything on your mind?" 

" _No, but I have a question. You don't have to answer, but why do you and a few other people keep saying you're straight but you've dated boys?"_ Stan realizes that was a dumb question after asking, but he couldn't take it back because Leo told him hold on, and was now digging under his bed. "Because I'm a closeted," Leo waves a little hand held Bisexual pride flag after flopping back on the floor. "Thought a sexy bisexual man like yourself know." Leo says grinning at a clearly embarrassed Stan. 

_"I realized that after it was a completely said."_ Embarrassed Stan says. _"I mean I figured you were closeted, but don't people know you dated boys in the past?"_

"Yea, but my parents would slit my throat if they found out I liked boys," Leo says as he puts his pride flag back in the hiding spot under his bed, "That and I'm in denial. I don't mind anyone in the community. It's not like I'm homophobic, at least I don't think. I mean, I was happy for Bebe and Kenny when they came out as pan and bi..." Leo trails off, he looks at the door. "I just hate myself so much. I hate that I'm into boys, I hate that I feel like I can't stay set on one gender. I know i seem like I'm proud to be apart of the community; proud to be bisexual, proud to be gender fluid. Always showing up to school in skirts and button ups, but I hate it. I hate waking up remembering my own family don't accept me. That was stupid. Sorry for wasting time talking about that." 

Stan floats down in front of Leo's line of vision. _"I don't thin- Leo, it wasn't stupid."_ Leo looks up at Stan and grins at him. "You called me Leo." Stan gets all ghostly red again. _"D-did I?"_ Leo nods, "That's your name isn't it, I was just calling you by your name." Leo smiles brighter, "Oh were you?" Leo sits up, to look at Stan better. "Hey Stan?" Stan looks towards him as if to say 'ask what you want' How'd you find out you liked boys?" Leo asks. Stan leans closer to Leo " _Leo, remember when we were in eighth grade?"_ Leo turns on his side, Now him and Stan are inches away from each other. If Stan were alive, Leo would have been tempted to kiss him. "Yea?" Stan looks down at Leo's lips as He talks. _"Remember when you were growing your hair out?"_ Stan asks, even when Leo wasn't talking, it made Leo's face heat up. He nodded, "Of course I do, it wouldn't grow longer then shoulder length" Leo chuckled. _"You growing your hair out has nothing to do with this, I just thought it was nice to bring up because you looked cute with long hair, but I'll say you were my gay awakening. I had a crush on you since middle of sixth grade, of course I ignored it because I knew you hated us for putting you through hell. Then in eighth grade, It grew more because I do many more classes with you."_

Now Leo's face was blushing, "You thought it was cute?" putting his hand up to his now longer on top and front, pulling slightly on his bangs. Stan smiled at a blushing Leo, " _Yes, but don't worry you're still cute._ " Leo turns so his back is now on the floor again, he hides his face with his hands. Leo quietly screamed in both frustration and a gay panic before quietly screaming again. "You're killing me, Stan!!" Stan smiles softly at him.

*** 

Around Two am Leo woke up to grunting coming from the room below him. Normally he would have gone back to sleep, but it seemed to be getting louder. He decided to go downstairs and grab something warm, he isn't allowed to eat or drink in his room, but he decided to anyways. It was worth the grounding. As he walked he noticed he passed his mother who was sitting on the couch with her computer pulled close to her tear stained face and she was wearing headphone. He slowly walks up to Mom, she was wrapped in a blanket and watching something. 

"Mamma?" Leo asks quietly. She looks up, and starts crying. "Butters, son!" She moves the computer and pulls him into a hug. "He's such a bastard!" She says crying into her sons shoulder. "Oh momma, he doesn't deserve you. You deserve so much better, " Leo says in a soothing voice as she continues to sob. "You have to leave him, run away from South park and get a new husband." He continues. She pushes back slightly, "What about you? Butters I can't just leave you with him, you're my son!" Leo looks down, "Momma I'm almost Eighteen. I'll be fine, when I'm an adult I'll move out as soon as possible." Mom looks at him in disbelief. "After all he's done to you, to me, to us! You're gonna put up with that for another year? Leopold, honey, look" She picks up his hand which is covered in cuts from earlier. "Look what he made me do, fucking with my mind like that. No no no, Honey if I leave I'm taking me with you. Whether your almost eighteen or not!"

Mom pulls Leo back into a hug, He kisses her on the head. "Hear let's watch our favorite movie to forget. Then after you have to go to bed." Mom gives Leo a blanket, they wrap themselves in their own blankets as Mom plugs in the adaptor for the two person headphone thing into her computer and putting on _Beetlejuice_. They ended up watching movies all night, crying together while Mom silently started planning a plot for them to run away. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Btw this chapter is definitely longer and took me about a day to write (and you can probably tell) It's about 3300 words. I had a few friends proof read chunks of it but if there's something that is wrong (grammar especially) please tell me.  
> My Insta is @bark__is_dead if you wanna follow me  
> (Unrelated, but Leo and Tweek seem like theater gays. Not to be stereotypical, but Tweek seems like it because he's pretty decent at acting and Leo seems like it because he seems like the kinda guy to appreciate a good play, plus it adds to something later on)  
> P.S. if you couldn't tell, I wing whatever I'm writing. I usually think about 3 major things i want to happen in the chapter (ones in this chapter are the lunch room scene when Leo mentions colors while clinging tightly to Jimmy, the glass throwing in the kitchen, and Stan and Leo talking/Leo and Linda watching beetlejuice after hearing Stephen cheating in the other room) So yea. That's about it. See ya next chapter.

**Author's Note:**

> Sorry my grammar is shit, please correct me when you see a mess up. Also all the small things about the characters are headcanons me and my friends made for a fanfic that I got bullied into making on wattpad (so you know it's trash lol) Stuff like Kenny being pan and him moving out at 14. Or Craig being very clingy/affectionate, or like Bebe being bi and Butters being gender fluid.


End file.
